I don’t know what people usually write in intros… But I guess I’ll tell you the what, why and how:
Well, as the title says, this book entails a myriad of texts, poems, wonders, some of my feelings, some of my theories, some of my endeavors… All, scattered.
I’ve written, for the most part, for only myself. But, for the few times I actually shared a couple of writings with others, I got an amazing response: critique, arguments of opposing views, advice, deep conversations, other ideas, thoughts… And, I loved it, the idea of a response. And I want more, because as I see it, our different points of view help us evolve mentally, spiritually, psychologically, even physically. And without evolution of self throughout time, what is one but a mere existence?
I gathered up a bunch of my writings, all from different timelines, and tried, as much as possible, to link them up logically and knot them up into a neat, little book.
Love, Hate & Other Human Errors
I know what you’re thinking, «What’s a seventeen year old girl to tell me about love?»
Well, I might’ve only had a couple of experiences, but I have learned a lot, felt a different range of emotions, hurt quite a bit yet been genuinely happy (which is very rare).
People often get somewhat confused between love and passion, which are two very different sentiments.
Passion is a momentary feeling you get, it utterly satisfies all your needs at that particular time. It needs not commitment or rules like love, but spontaneity and fluidity.
However, jealousy gets in the way; say you’re with someone, who makes you ineffably happy and whatnot, and you meet a beautiful person, inside and out, and you get this obstreperous urge to kiss them… love says you shouldn’t, even if it would merely satisfy your desire for just that moment and no more, passion says go for it, fulfill your wish, for it is only for a split second and won’t lead to further interaction yet it’s satisfactory. If you go by passion in that situation, that someone you’re with would be jealous, nay, livid, which is completely understandable, even if to you, it was just «in the moment», it develops envy in your significant other; the thought that someone else gave you a sensation they couldn’t, or that someone else had you when they wanted you all for themselves.
Love is the title and the book at once, it holds rules, commitment clauses, and order.
Passion is just that, passion, ebullience… Metaphorically;
Passion is a river, of ambiguous water. It’s in continuous zeal, in constant renaissance. Infinite. It’s arcane, it’s something inexplicable, you’ll get struck by inexpressible sentiments.
But love on the other hand, is a lake, of stagnant water. Its surface is constantly plane, in an ephemeral state, limited. It’s something that’s simply interpretable. Of sentiment graspable by anyone and everyone.
To my vigorous support system: family and friends:
My parents Julie and Asaad who have provided me with the best life I could ever ask for,
My dear siblings Nadia and Mohammad who always see the best in me,
My late grandmother, Tayta Nadia, who taught me my very first English words,
My late grandmother, Tayta Georgette who was responsible for this poetic side of me,
My squad: Christelle Abboud, Christelle Ayoub, Mira Dennaoui, Monica Sayegh, Patricia Arida, Rouba Moussa and Sarah Jane Samia. You’ve been there for me from the beginning of the play to the curtain call, cheering me on, showing me the way, sharing my laughs, my tears,
Madi Hanna, who motivates my writing,
Lina Chaaya, who encouraged me to publish,
Toni Khoury, who’d help me through my panic attacks,
My English teacher for over a decade at school, Mrs. Josette Khoury Mitri who’s helped me flourish in writing,
And to many more, I’m sorry I can’t mention you all, but, you know very well who you are and I love and thank you.
Never in my 22 years of teaching have I met anyone quite like Nadine. So sweet and soft-hearted yet so strong and deep. Her big bright eyes carried a thousand questions. One could hardly imagine that at such a young age, this girl would be searching for the meaning of life itself. Trying desperately to calm the turmoil that has invaded her heart and mind. She started to gather her scattered thoughts in a book that reveals her struggle and her endurance to finally find peace. Hope this book would be an inspiration to all of you out there and shed some light onto your darkest days.
Josette Khoury Mitri
We all have an inner monster, a dark side, some shadows bigger than others. From abusers, sadists and psychopaths to perverts, masochists and manipulators
And, I will fully admit, I have homicidal tendencies;
Urges to torture, to brutally kill, chop off guilty people, people who, I think, deserve to die.
How come those people get to be alive, and in most cases, free, and innocent people are subjected to excruciation, ending with an inevitable, painful death.
I never claimed the world to be adequately fair, but, I want to make it as fair as possible to me and to the people I love and care about.
And, let’s face it, in this world, it’s killed or be killed…
Murder is a form of art, it’s a craft you have to utterly master before executing your kill. For, the slightest mishap or slip up would ruin your masterpiece.
Almost flawless is never enough with this kind of art, it’s either great hit or tragic miss.
Onto psychopathy: Boredom kills, literally.
Psychopaths have a history of committing suicide as a result of sheer tediousness. It’s their kryptonite. They resort to death to feel alive. And, staying alive, to them, is just staying, they can’t stay for too long.
طُبع كتاب «Scattered Thoughts»
في «دار البلاد للطباعة والإعلام في الشمال»،
والإخراج قامت به شركة «Impress»